Coming soon...

...to a shower near...me!

Puppies!!!

Momma's miserable.

All she wants to do is lay on the tile

and try to build a nest in the shower.

I try to tell her just a few more days but she doesn't want to hear it.

"School's out, scream and shout!"

Did you sing the title?

Have you seen High School Musical a few too many times too?

Summer is here.

I'm super happy to be sleeping in, 

glad to have my kids home,

and constantly thinking about what I can do to keep us busy.
Remember, we are trapped indoors for the next few months.
There are no lazy summer days outside with the cool breeze and a picnic.
We would fry.

So, I've got a few indoor ideas.

We'll see how they go.

Until then I leave you with random end of the school year pictures from the boys' class, Spring Sing,

and my children's...uh... I mean my cousin, Jordan's, graduation.

The Position

In the Dominican Republic there is a saying.

When you find your child sleeping in the fetal position it means they want another sibling.

Look what I found the other day.

Of course they're not really sleeping but they thought they would show me just how they feel.

E-n-e-r-g-e-t-i-c

When Alexandria was one she had a febrile seizure that lasted longer than 30 minutes and left her paralyzed on one side of her body.  We were in Provo, Utah when it happened so they life flighted her up to Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake City.  They wouldn't let me go in the helicopter with her.  Instead I had brave the 45 minute drive in the CRV with my dad and my brother, Adam, who both debated the whole way from Provo to Salt Lake about the possibility of helicopters falling out of the sky.  They really know how to reassure a worried mom. (Please get the sarcasm in that last sentence.) 

Thankfully, the paralysis was temporary and she was ready to go home the next day after a few tests.  The MRI showed that the ventricle in one side of her brain is much larger than normal leaving her with an overall smaller brain mass on that side.  I wasn't really worried about the results.  I knew her development was normal.  So did it really matter that one side was smaller than the other?  I didn't think so.  Besides, I could tell she was smarter than other kids her age. So I tossed all concerns out the window and hardly ever think about it. 

And everyday she proves just how smart she is.   Like Monday, she won 1st place in the 4th grade spelling bee.  YAY!!!  It was awesome!  It was down to her and another girl and when the other girl spelled energetic with a "j" Alexandria's eyes lit up and she knew she had just won.  Rules are Alexandria had to spell energetic and one more word to win but it was no problem for this girly.  I'm very proud of her.  Can you tell?  She is the top of her class in an advanced school that teaches one year ahead of other schools. She rocks! This girl is working with less brains than what you and I have and she is still this brilliant.  I love being her mom!

Surfing

You're gonna love the line Isabel shared with me from Soul Surfer.  I did.

"Life is like surfing.  When you get caught in the impact zone you gotta get right back up because you never know what's coming."

She knew that was just what I needed to hear.

Complicating Faith

"How many children do you have?"

That's a question I dread.

As mothers we get asked this question all the time.

I used to love it.  I was proud to answer.  

But now I don't know what to say, "four but I have five", "five but only four here"?

Such a simple question shouldn't necessitate such a complicated answer.

********

Today was Mikey's due date and his 4 month birthday.

We celebrated with a balloon that we wrote messages on 

then sent up to him so he knows how much we love him.

Sometimes, I start to miss him so much that it gets difficult to remember how sick he was.
I find myself thinking that maybe we should have tried harder to keep him here.
And I begin to doubt, thinking maybe I just didn't have enough faith.
As I was struggling with this mind consuming guilt one day I felt a whisper touch my heart.
"You had enough faith to let him go."
Immediately, my mind calmed.  My spirit was at peace and I knew he is where he needs to be.
I had enough faith to let His plan continue.
We had to say good bye to him because he had another place he needed to be and there are other miracles waiting for us.
I feel honored to have him in our family.
When I remember the strength of his spirit and how wonderful he is, I smile then cry but just a little. Because I am one eternally blessed mother, a mother of five beautiful children.