Blog Etiquette

I know I'm relatively new to this whole blog thing but I still don't get when it's appropriate to list the blogs of people that you know on your blog. I go to some people's blogs and they have tons of friends listed and I wonder if they really have that many friends or if it's just other people they would like to know and they like to look cool. Then there's the whole question of if you should list someone even when you're not listed on their page. Maybe they don't want to admit they know you. There's more people I could list but maybe they don't want to be listed. I don't mind being listed on other people's pages. I think it's fun. It makes it easier for old friends to find you and for me to catch up with people I haven't seen for awhile. But, I'm sure that's not how everyone feels. That's why there's so many people going private. They don't want their pages looked at, right? What's up with that? Then there's the people who don't want their last name used and some people who use fun made up names. Do I put their real name in my blog or their last name? It's all so complicated. That's why it took me so long to make a friends list. I kept all the blogs in my favorites but I never made a list on my blog. I'm just not sure of when to list someone. Is there a right way to do this?