Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Mean People

So, I got yelled at today by some complete stranger for being such a bad mom. After parking right next to the glass doors so I could see the car I ran in to drop off an application. It probably took 30 seconds. With one sleepy baby and two tired two year olds I decided I could get everyone out and have this 30 second dropoff turn into a 10 minute fiasco or I could run inside and be done. Remember I could see my car the whole time. I parked right next to the door and only had to go about 20 feet. So I told Alexandria to lock the car door behind me and I left her with my cell phone for "just in case". I left the car running because it is still warm outside and all the windows were up. This lady must have seen me get out of the car because when I came back she started in on me. "Shame on you", she said. I just agreed with her, "I know." She continued to lecture me but I just got in the car and drove off. I know it was not the safest thing to leave my children in the car but, I believe it was the better decision. I was watching them the whole time. The kids just stayed in their car seats and continued to watch the movie that they were watching. They could see me inside. They had nothing to be afraid of.

Maybe I am a bad mom though because it's not the first time I've been yelled at by someone who thinks they can do a better job with four children all under the age of five. Last time it was in the parking lot at the mall. I had already gotten Alexandria and DJ out of the car and they were looking at a cactus about 3 cars down. I could still see them. I was still getting Isabel and AJ out of the car so Alexandria and DJ went to see the cactus on their own. I didn't tell them they could go. I told them to stay by the car but I don't have eight hands. I couldn't get AJ and Isabel out and hold Alexandria's and DJ's hands too. I wasn't too worried though because I could still see them and there wasn't much I could do without leaving AJ and Isabel in the hot car. Well, some lady decided I wasn't doing my job and proceeded to yell at me that I'm not fit to have kids and that she wished she could put me in jail for treating my kids that way. She was going on and on and on so I got mad and yelled back. Oops. She was complaining that she can't believe people let their kids do that sort of thing "out here". So I told her to go "back there" where she came from. I think that only made her more mad. My children got upset too because there was this scary lady screaming at their mom and Mom was yelling back. She pretty much ruined our trip to the mall. If she really cared she could have said, "I see you have more kids in the car. I'll just watch these two while you get the other ones out." But, no, she had to be mean about it. What purpose did that serve? We stayed about five minutes then had to leave because the kids and I were so shaken up.

Since then, the first time that happened to me, I decided I would never let someone tell me what to do with my kids and make me angry like that again. People that do that are not worth my energy. They don't know what's going on. They don't know me or my kids. I know my kids better than anyone else. And it would be me that would hurt more than anyone else if anything happened to them. If I don't feel good about something I won't do it. But in both of these situations I felt that my children would be alright. So, since I had already decided not to get mad if it ever happened again, it was easy to get in the car and drive away today. None of my children even knew what happened. I stayed happy, they were fine and mean lady can go bother someone else.

5 comments:

Janalyn said...

I don't understand mean people. I feel sorry for them because they're never happy when they're mean - you'd think they'd learn!

And, I think you are a fabulous Mom. I like what you said about how you wouldn't do something if you didn't feel good about it.

Whitney said...

It suprises me how old and Alexandria is getting. I think she could handle that situation just fine! Good job Ondria.

Heath said...

Well regardless of what two old cranky women think, I believe that you are an incredible mom, and there is NO WAY that I could do what you do!

Andrea said...

It really baffles me why some people say the things they do! I mean, who do they think they are? Geesh! I am totally with you on that. I have left my kids for merely seconds in the car (w/ it running cuz of the summer heat). I am able to see them & feel that it is ok & super quick to just get it done w/o them. I had one lady tell me how dangerous it is to leave kids in the car esp if it's running cuz someone she knew had kids that bumped the gear shift & the car rolled into the street or something. I know it's not the safest, but the kids stay in their seats & don't touch anything. I've had people stare at me & or make little comments while going thru the store in kid chaos, but never had anyone actually confront me like that. So sorry you had to go thru that! It's none of their business. I'm sure you're a fabulous MOM!

onehm said...

What is the deal with people?? I have left my kids in the car- same thing! It's the worst when other people feel the need to tell you what to do- it's not like you're beating them or something!
You are a great mom! Dont forget it! Love your blog!