Angels

Some people only dream of angels.  We held one in our arms.

When we first found out about Mikey's condition I came home and cried to Papi.  I cried because I wanted a baby more than anything.  And I cried because this was not something we needed.  We have so many other issues to deal with that the death of a child could be the final chapter if we let it.  

Instead we made an unspoken decision.  Papi hoped this would make us better people.  I was determined that if we were going to lose something as precious as our baby boy then we needed to make a change for the better.  This would not be our final chapter but the beginning of a new book.  We were going to have another son. But there was a different plan for him and for us, a better one than what my human mind could see. 

Losing our adored little boy could be a tragedy.  I think about him and I miss him every day.  But I am so thankful for this trial.  It opened my eyes to see wonderful acts and feel beautiful emotions that I would have never experienced without his loss.   He brought me peace when he was here.  I have grown.  Our family has grown.  Mikey gave up this Earth life so that his family could progress.  His sacrifice was an angelic gift.  He is and always will be our angel.

His short life helps me to understand better the sacrifice that our older, most perfect brother made for us.  He died for us to progress too.   And His gift was much more.  If knowing Mikey has made me want to be better so I can be with him again, how much better would I want to be if I really knew our Savior?  It is because of Him that any of this is even possible.   Because of Him Mikey's death is not a tragedy but simply a new beginning.